Our helpful habits are like breadcrumbs we leave ourselves for a later time when we will need them more than we do now.
Morning routines - is she really talking about that, again? Yes, yes she is.
I woke up all out of sorts. I am a generator in Human Design and when I feel good I tend to want to sprinkle my magical fairy dust all over the damn place. I want to share my goods with other humans, see new things and stretch myself until I collapse into the bliss of exhaustion. The good kind of tired that a kid (or their parent) feels after running themselves silly and being able to zone out on the couch afterwards with a movie or book.
There is another kind of tired, though. We call it "drained." I imagine this state as a bunch of loose wires, disconnected from their core power supply. I get here because I rely on feeling good, alive, abundant until there are no more cherries to shake from the tree. And then I need to remember what gave me all that good juju to begin with...
The thing is - I have created a one-stop shop for rewiring (formalized in my course on morning routines). It took a while. There is an almost obsessive quality in my desire to feel connected. This was a quest that did lead somewhere though. It bred a series of practices that I could enact each morning to reconnect the dots, one by one. Sometimes, midway through, I think - maybe this isn't going to work today. Invariably, though, when I complete the process, I find the cup more full, the roots more anchored and the thinking more elevated.
I slept in today. I felt lethargic to approach my duties. It wasn't the right time of day - on a Monday - to carve out an hour for a morning routine, as the morning's jaws threatened to clamp shut and lead into afternoon. But I knew from experience how much more useful of a soul I would be when I repeated the rituals that had worked for me previously.
My morning ritual, done at noon. Okay. So, in the dreamwork, I encountered the parts of my selves battling it out backstage, only to give those parts of me that were conscious - the actors on stage - a sense of unease that their public performance could be sabotaged at any moment from behind the wings. It was as though by analyzing the dream, I was literally pulling these conflicting personas off each other, like the brave friend that breaks up the bar brawl. With everyone in their corner, catching their breath, I went and walked the dog.
I felt the aftershocks of the stirred emotions and the inner archetypes still nursing their wounds in their respective cool down spots. But there was more space. Just like when two people dialogue and without necessarily finding resolution, feel heard enough to find satiation for the time being.
When I came back, I listened to the guided visualization, "Align," from my course. I got interrupted when my boyfriend left to the post office, but I rewinded and got re-guided. I was determined. The second way through was better. The aligned Natalie spoke to the flustered Natalie and uttered clearly, with an almost executive authority: "You need expression. Free form expression without a directed agenda." The guided audio then directed, "ask for an action you can take now to shift into this way of being." "Write a blog," aligned-me answered unwaveringly.
Noted. I did the meditation portion. I felt better. Strong and certain, able to approach the tightrope walk of beginning my Monday at midday. The outward reality hadn't changed, but my inner vortex did. I now felt the magnetic pull that whatever I needed would fly to me and that my only job was to keep connected to this vital surge - like an energetic ouroboros - my authentic expression feeding my core supply.
Grumpiness backflipped into determination. Empathic overdrive settled into firm boundaries exercised with grace.
We sometimes forget what got us where we are. We can do things that work so well that we paradoxically don't think we need them anymore. This is me and my morning routine. The more it works for me, the more invincible I feel, the less I feel I need anything external to keep up the flow. It's true the forward momentum carries me for a while. But after flapping my wings free form for a few days, I invariably feel the call to return to flying in formation. The birds' path that returns them home each seasonal cycle.
Each morning that I do my ritual, I return to myself and that which invariably brings me home, so that I can not merely flap around but catch the wind that allows me to SOAR.
If you are interested in taking my course on building your own morning ritual for self healing, click here.